Hmmm… Talkin’ Turkey

Did you know the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line employs more than 50 professionally trained, college-educated home economists and nutritionists, who respond to more than 100,000 questions each November and December? Hmmm… what type of queries do these turkey talkers receive? A wild hunt with Google’s help produced these head-scratching results…

  • Does the turkey go in the oven feet first or head first?
  • Can I baste my turkey with suntan lotion?
  • How long does it take to thaw a fresh turkey?
  • The family dog is inside the turkey. How do I get it out?
  • I’m a truck driver. Can I cook the turkey on the engine block of my semi while I’m driving? If I drive faster, will it cook faster?
  • I don’t want to cook the whole turkey, so I cut it in half with a chainsaw. How do I get the chainsaw oil out of the turkey?
  • Is it okay to thaw my turkey in the bathtub while bathing my kids?
  • Can I brine my turkey in the washing machine?
  • Can I use my oven’s self-cleaning cycle to speed up the cooking process?
  • Can I take my frozen turkey into my sauna to thaw it faster?
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